Spasms.

Today my Wife and Tabatha went for a walk to Ilminster to collect my kids from school, I thought that Darren would be going to collect them all but when he arrived at my bungalow with his children after collecting them from school, it became apparent to me that my kids would be getting some exercise as they walked the 6 miles form their school to home. They arrived surprisingly cheerful after saying that they had actually enjoyed the walk home as the weather had been really nice compared to what it has been lately. My Wife and Tabatha however were not as cheerful, my Wife said that her legs were really aching which she was not happy about because when they did the fifteen miles she was actually ok and Tabatha looked like death. Still, they had done their exercise today and I’m really proud of her for not taking the easy way out and asking Darren to pick them up. Well done babe.

I also worked bloody hard today as I had my Physiotherapy session. My new Physio came round with a male Physio which meant that I could do what I refer to as floor work. I will get myself from my chair to the sofa, from here today I lowered myself directly to the floor. I think I may have opened the eyes of my Physio’s today though as my spasms were ridiculous. My legs were so rigid that they were unable to `break` them at the knee to bend them for me, in the hope that it would ease the spasm. They asked me to explain how it felt, which was really difficult so I told them to tense any muscle as hard as they could, until they could not tense any harder and then imagine it tensing to a point that locked you in to that position so you could not move and add pain. I can cope with pain pretty well to be honest, you kind of have to being infantry, even though your body is saying “holy crap I need to stop”, your mind tells it that it is not so bad and you crack on. Probably something that members of the armed forces can relate to better than most. I also told them to push on my stomach, through the large amount of fat that I appear to have gained they understood what I was talking about as my stomach muscles were so tense. The pain they give me varies but at times, like today, it is hard to hold back tears which winds me up as I know that my pain threshold is quite high. It is frustrating, it makes me angry, I try so hard to calm them down by `breathing through it` (at risk of sounding like I am in labour, trust me I’d be crap at childbirth!), but it is not always possible. It tenses my stomach so badly that I actually struggle to breathe but worst of all, as I have no control over my muscle groups below my nipples, it forces wind which is massively embarrassing for me. You see, whilst identical injuries can occur, the lasting problems can be very difficult. I had always thought that someone in a wheelchair simply could not walk but the other problems they face are so very much more in many cases.

From the floor, I had to get myself on to my exercise step which was on its highest setting making it more difficult for me to lift on to. This took a long time as the spasms were really hindering my progress. I am unable to move when the spasms hit. Eventually though I managed to get on to the step and from here, after several attempts, I managed to get in to my chair. I have decided that I no longer want to use the sofa as a stop gap on the way to the chair, but that as I have gone directly to my wheelchair from the step at my last session with my old and new Physio’s, I will go straight to it.

My Wife has just had a hot jet bath to relax after her exercise and has retired to bed, I have obviously been writing my Blog entry and will not be going to bed until much later as I have to deal with the spasms all over again when I go to bed, something which I would rather do when I can barely stay awake.

Goodnight all.